


There were two ways

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-30
Updated: 2007-01-30
Packaged: 2018-11-11 04:37:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11141160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Fraser learns about Rays feelings from Ray's journal, but since he shouldn't have been reading his friends journal what is he to do?





	There were two ways

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

There were two ways

## There were two ways

  
by Savannah Heath  


Disclaimer: The characters belong to Alliance.

Story Notes: Spoilers for Bounty Hunter.

* * *

THERE ARE TWO WAYS  
  
By Savannah Heath  
  
Pairings: Fraser/Kowalski Ratings: PG-13 for m/m themes. Spoilers: None  
  
Disclaimer: Alliance owns due South and its characters.  
  
There were two ways to look at this, he decided. Either he could be upset that Ray had failed to pick him up or he could be worried because Ray had failed to pick him up. Ray usually called if he was running late, so worry it was. He went back into the Consulate and tried Ray's cell phone. No answer. He called the 27^th . Frannie answered.   
  
`Hey Fraser, how are you?" She asked.  
  
I'm fine. Have you seen Ray? He said he'd pick me up at 5:30 and it's almost 6."  
  
"Oh, Frase didn't you get Lt. Welsh's message. Ray had to go to Detroit to bring a prisoner back. He and Huey left a little after four. They won't be back until tomorrow. I know Ray asked the Lt. to call you. I guess he forgot."  
  
"It's all right. I didn't even think to check voice mail. He probably left me a message. I'm sorry to bother you."  
  
"No bother. Fraser what ... I mean would you like to have dinner with me tonight." I thought about it. I like Francine but not in the way she seemed to like me. I guessed she sensed my hesitancy. "I promise I won't chase you around the table." She laughed. "Frase I know." She said it like that would explain a lot.  
  
"You know what?" I asked, unsure whether I really wanted to know.  
  
"I know about you and Ray."  
  
"What do you know about Ray and me?"  
  
"I know you two are an ... item... a couple. It took a while for me to get it into my head with you being so great looking and Ray... Well, he's not exactly ... I mean I know you love him and all but compared to you he's ... Oh, great Frannie. Sorry Fraser I know how you feel. I guess in your eyes he's the most beautiful thing in the world. But to most of us we don't really see what ... well what you see."  
  
"Francesca I have no idea where you got your theory but there is nothing going on between Ray and myself. We're friends, we're partners, but we're not... we're not anything else."  
  
"Really, you sure? Huey heard you telling him you loved him the other day and he said it back to you."  
  
"Oh. It was taken out of context. We were just happy over the way a case turned out. We ... Francesca does everybody believe as you do?"  
  
"Pretty much everybody, I guess. You know Huey told Dewey who..."  
  
"Told everyone," I finished for her.  
  
"Yeah, that would be the case. Well, if you're not involved with Ray wanta have dinner." I heard the hope come back into her voice.   
  
"Dinner? Well. Oh sure, why not. I'll walk over to the 27^th . What time do you get off?"  
  
"Seven. See you then." I hung up and wished I could have thought of a reason to not go to dinner with her. Not that I didn't like Francesca. I did like her. I thought she was beautiful and very, very nice. She was kind and ... What's wrong with me. Why can't I be happy that a beautiful, nice woman wants me? Why was I drawn to Victoria? She was beautiful but far from nice. She was the anti- Francesca and I wanted her so bad I almost lost my soul, my honor for her. I am one very crazy Mountie. Unhinged as Ray says.  
  
I checked the voice mail on my phone. Two messages. Message one was from Lt. Welsh. "Fraser, Ray wanted me to let you know he's got to go to Detroit on police business. He'll call you when he gets back tomorrow. He said would you feed the turtle." The second message was from Ray. "Hey, Frase we've just gotten into Detroit and Huey is getting all the paper work done on the prisoner we're picking up. I just wanted to let you know that he overheard us talking the other day and got the wrong end of the stick as usual. He's told everyone at the 27^th that you and I are ... well that we're sleeping together. Go figure. Anyway I'll see you went I get back. I hate Detroit. I hope we drive straight back. Anyway I'll holler at you when we get back. Why don't you stay at my place tonight? Sleep in a real bed for a change. Feed the turtle and get the mail. Thanks."  
  
I picked up the phone and called the 27^th. "Francesca I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel our dinner. I got a phone message that requires my immediate attention. Sorry."  
  
"Sure, Fraser. Don't work to hard." I hung up and felt very guilty. Why couldn't I have taken her to dinner? I looked at Dief who frankly looked disgusted with me. I couldn't blame him.   
  
I packed a bag and told Turnbull I'd be away from the Consulate overnight and Dief and I walked to Rays' apartment. I had a key and I let my self in. I found the turtle food and feed him. Then I wandered into the kitchen. There was nothing in the refrigerator but some butter and a very old plum. I wandered back into the living room and turned on the television. I went through every channel and found nothing to watch. I turned it off and walked over to the book case. I looked through his books; poetry, Frost and Whitman, Dickenson; novels, Austen, Dickens, Hemingway (a much worn copy of A moveable feast.) I would have figured him for more the "Old man and the sea" kind of guy. There were some modern novels including Byatt's Possession which also surprised me. Then I noticed the book with no label. I picked it up. Ray's journal. I didn't know he kept a journal. I started to put it back and then I stopped and looked back at it. I learned a lot about my father from his journal. Maybe I could get to know Ray from his journals. I know what you're going to say. It was unconscionable for me to read his journal without his knowledge but I ... Well I sit down on the sofa and adjusted a lamp for reading and settled down to learn about Ray."  
  
Nov. 25^th (1^st entry) I saw that the year was almost 2 years ago.   
  
/I don't know what I'm going to do. Stella will not even talk to me. She has caller ID and she will not answer when I call. I went by her place and she refused to open the door. Why can't we just talk? She says I never just talk. We end up yelling or fucking and she says neither makes her happy. Thanks for that. I miss her. I miss the way she smells and I miss knowing she was coming home. Now I just sit here and stare at this bottle and wish I could just die./  
  
I almost close the book now. This is just too personal. I shouldn't be reading this. I skip again a few months. Oh. I stop on the entry where he tells about getting assigned to cover for Ray Vecchio.  
  
/I got a call to go over to the 27^th and talk to Welsh. I've always respected Welsh. He's a good man. He tells me that one of his guys is going deep, deep undercover and they need someone to pretend to be him. Would I be interested? At first I almost said no and then I thought why not. Why not get a new start. Be someone else for a while. So I said yes. Welsh has given me the low down on the guy. A good cop he says and smiles and you're going to love this, he says. His partner is a Mountie. He has to explain to me that this Ray's partner is a Canadian. A member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Go figure. Fraser is his name. Benton Fraser. Even the name sounds like he's got a stick up his butt. Oh well I am Stanley Raymond Kowalski. So who am I to cast aspersions? Fraser is in Canada on vacation so maybe I'll have theo whole Vecchio thing down by the time he comes back. /  
  
/Fraser is back and he's not at all like I thought he'd be. He's nice. Well NICE. He's probably the best looking guy I've ever seen in the flesh. Fuck it he's beautiful. His face is like something on a Greek temple or something. And his body. Women go giddy over him. I will look like last weeks leftovers next to this guy. But he's so nice and so polite he doesn't even seem to realize that he could have any women he wants. Maybe I can comfort some of the broken hearted lasses he leaves in his wake. He's also a good cop and get this he has a dog (well half wolf) named Diefenbaker (some Canadian politician or something) who goes with him every where. Actually Dief is pretty cool. So is the Mountie if you like that type./  
  
I skipped ahead several months and read another passage.  
  
/I saw Stella today and for the first time since we split up I didn't feel like shit. I could talk to her and not get all upset. She seemed relived. I may be finally over her. I saw Frase watching us. I think he is worried that I'll go all goofy over Stella again. I'd tell him I'm okay but ... Hell, it's not really any of his business. /  
  
/ /  
  
/ There was this woman, Bounty Hunter that we ran into. She's really got the hots for Fraser and he well I almost think he likes her too. I tried to explain that she's got kids and is looking for a bread winner but Frase just acted prissy. Then I went over to the Consulate and there she is plastering herself all over him. I ought to sit her down and have a good talking to her. /  
  
/She's gone (Bounty Hunter). Her husband (she was still married, bitch) came back and well they left together with the kids. Fraser seemed sad but he's a lot better off without her. He could have anyone but somehow he always ends up alone. I wonder sometimes if that Victoria broad messed him up so bad he's afraid to love. She was one cold hearted bitch from all I've read and heard about her. She left him with a bullet in his back and she never looked back. I could kill her myself.. He's a grown man. He can take care of himself. Why do I always want to protect him? I'm getting weird. /  
  
/ /  
  
/Oh, god. I'm in deep shit now. I had a dream last night. I dream I'm having incredible, amazing, really hot sex and I am just about to come and whose face is there under me. Fraser's. Oh my, I am fucked up big time. I have got to get out more. I mean I start having sex dreams about my best friend, my best straight male friend. Call the loony bin. I have got to get a grip here. I wonder what he looks like out of his uniform. I don't mean that. Yeah. Well to be perfectly honest I do wonder what he looks like naked. If he's body is as beautiful out of clothes as in them... Oh shit I am one sick puppy. /  
  
/ /  
  
I close the book and pretend I didn't just read that. Well I'd like to pretend I didn't just read that. What does that mean? My best friend wants to see me ...Oh dear. And yet I'm not appalled. I'm, well, a little, oh right, more than a little turned on. Oh dear. I get up and put the book back where I found it. I can never let Ray know I read that.   
  
I wondered around the apartment feeling very odd. Wishing I had been more prudent and had respected Ray's privacy. Ray would never do that with my journal I feel certain.   
  
Finally I decide it is late enough I can go to bed. I go into the bedroom, suddenly very aware that it is Ray's bedroom. I strip off and go to bed in my boxers as usual. I stretch out on the bed. It is nice to have a real bed not my cot to stretch out on. Then I smell Ray. The bed smells like Ray. Well, of course it does. It's Ray's bed. I roll over and try to get comfortable. I admit I like the way Ray smells. It's a very manly odor. Not at all sissy ... Oh I need to think of something else. I roll over to the other side of the bed and well this is a little better. The odor isn't as pervasive over here. Then I roll on over to the edge and I see it. Just under the edge of the bed and reach and pull out a magazine. I turned on the bedside light and looked at the magazine. It was ... well, it was a magazine with pictures of nude men. The magazine fell open to the centerfold and I did a double take. While I did not recognize the body I knew the face, it was mine. I looked very carefully and saw where my face had been pasted over the models face. The picture of my face was one which Ray had taken of me back in the summer. My face was caught unaware and I had my eye lids lowered so my eyes appeared hooded. I guess it might be considered, oh hell, it was a sexy look. What on earth was my face doing in Ray's magazine? Then I realized it must aid with his fantasies. God no wonder he dreamed about me. I wondered if the magazine pre-dated the journal entry. I looked at the cover of the magazine. It had the coming months date on it so it was very new. But the journal entry was almost three months old. Oh dear.   
  
I put the magazine back where I found it and turned out the light and tried to go to sleep. My mind was still trying to get back into the real world; the world where Ray was my best friend and my partner. I kept seeing flashes of Ray with his back arched and I ... Oh dear. I needed to try thinking about something else. I begin to recite the RCMP manual. I have only got about a page into it before I thought of Ray again. This time he had his hand on his own erection while he looked at my picture in his magazine. Oh this would not do at all. I started counting. I counted snow flakes (well, I know more about snowflakes than sheep). I counted several thousand before I finally fell into a fitful sleep.   
  
I felt a movement of the bed and I awoke, disoriented. Where was I? Oh yes, Ray's apartment, Ray's bed to be exact. I looked up and there was Ray's face above me. This was like Ray's dream. Of course this was a dream. I was dreaming. So I did what I wanted to do. After all a dream can't yell at you. I pulled his face down to mine and I kissed him. This dream felt so good. He melted into my arms and I just kept kissing him. Then it hits me this is not a dream. I am awake and I am kissing my best friend in his own bed. I know he has sexual feelings for me and I ... I decided not to think so much, just to feel. I kissed him again and then I started trying to get him out of his clothes. He got up and took of his shirt and then his pants and finally he drops his boxers and I reach back up and pull him back into my arms. I realize that they we have not said a word. Maybe there really are things too big for words.   
  
I wake up and for a moment I think oh so it was a dream. Just a dream and I'm a little sad and then I turn over and here is Ray sleeping on the other side of the bed. He is rumbled and looks like a decadent angel. I lay there just looking at him and I feel so good. I love him. I think I've loved him for a long, long time. He wakes up and looks at me and he stretches like a cat and then he grins. "Morning," I say.  
  
"I thought maybe the cat got your tongue. Do you realize that we made love last night and neither of us ever said a word?"  
  
"We didn't need words. Except, I did mean to say one thing."  
  
`What's that, Frase?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Yea, I love you too."   
  
"Good, now come back over here and kiss me. I miss your lips." I roll over and he moves up on my chest and kisses me on the chest and then on my chin and finally I get his lips back on my lips. Yes, this was prefect.   
  
"Tell me something. Did you know you'd be back in the night when you invited me to sleep in your bed?"  
  
He grinned. "I scared the fool out of Huey but I was determined to get here while you were still in my bed. But why did you kiss me like that?"  
  
"I thought you were a dream. And I guess you are."  
  
"You say the best things. Now shut up and kiss me."  
  
So I did.   
  


  
 

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End There were two ways by Savannah Heath 

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